I am Thankful for my Shanghai Family

Thanksgiving was the first big holiday that I celebrated in Shanghai. Back home, I love Thanksgiving! What is not to love about spending an entire day with my family eating great food? My dad makes the best deep-fried turkey, and I make the best cheesy potatoes... yummm! Then, following a nice long nap, my mom would usually convince us to play some sort of game.

This year, I have plenty to be thankful for! I am thankful for the incredible opportunities and experiences that I have had this year – for the amazing adventure I am on. I am thankful for my youth and my health that keeps me going. I am thankful for the many blessings within my family – health, strength, support, recovery, and new homes. I am thankful that our angle continues to watch over our family which allows us to enjoy these kinds of holidays! I am thankful for the friends and family that I have around the world and mostly, I am thankful for my Shanghai family! I don’t know what I would do without my Shanghai family these days! I mean, who else do I have to turn to during times like this? We had a great weekend celebrating Turkey day, and joining together to celebrate what we are most thankful for – life!

This was the first year ever that I actually had to work on Thanksgiving… what a bummer! Nonetheless, we had a weekend planned full of turkey and stuffing! Thursday following school, I went to the Marriott with Christina, Amy, Anna, Bryan, Donna, Lilly, Brian, Fitri, and Walt (my Shanghai family and friends). The Marriott has the most incredible dinner buffet – lobster, shrimp, crab, sushi, duck, dim sum, chicken, turkey, ham, pasta, veggies, breads, dumplings, etc, etc. Additionally, because we were a party of 10, we also got a full turkey dinner just for our table complete with a turkey (no deep fried turkey), stuffing, potatoes, gravy, green beans, and such.  Once we were finished with all of that, there was also a full dessert bar of cakes, pies, ice cream, crepes, fruits and more! I couldn’t stop eating! Oh, did I mention that there was also free flow champagne, wine and beer?  

Do you want to know the best part of our dinner? It wasn’t the turkey, or the bottomless wine, or laughing hysterically with my family… During our meal, Christina had noticed a western man sitting at a table alone. At first, we joked about Christina joining him (I know you don’t know Christina but she will walk up to any random stranger on the street, and the next week, they are her bff), but really, it was sad that he was all alone on Thanksgiving. Christina picked up her plate, and walked over to his table, and sat right down. They started talking and she stayed at his table for quite a while, but eventually, we invited him to join our table! He was a kind man, an English professor at a university in Suzhou from Texas. He did not have any friends or family around the celebrate Thanksgiving with him, so he was grateful for the kindness of strangers.

Thanksgiving Part 2 started Friday after school. A couple co-workers hosted a Thanksgiving potluck at their apartment near ours. There were probably about 20 co-workers, significant others and friends. First, we sat around playing some games, chatting and drinking. Then we ate delicious food – everything homemade – cheesy potatoes, mac and cheese, corn casserole, sweet potatoes, roasted veggies, salads, cookies, pie, truffles, etc. All the food was much homier! In contrast to the dinner at the Marriott which was more gourmet, the food there was more comfort food. Following dinner, we went around the room a shared what we were thankful for! Some tears were shed, but mostly laughter. Following dinner, I stayed for a while as we played Apples to Apples (a favorite that reminds me of home), and Quelf (the Chinese version of Cranium but much more ridiculous and crazy).  Oh, there was a little bit of drama, which also made me feel at home. The only thing missing was a little bit of wrestling! At the end of the night we are raised our glasses and gave a toast to AYIS! Let’s be honest, we cannot forget about ayi!

Thanksgiving Part 3 was Saturday afternoon. Yet another co-worker invited my roommates and me over to her house to have Thanksgiving with her family. It was really nice. They also had tons of food - turkey, stuffing, potatoes, mac and cheese, broccoli – you know, the usual! I must say that was the best turkey and stuffing that I had! Anyway, we ate, drank a lot of wine and sat around the table talking and whatnot.

It was great to be in such great company all weekend. If I can’t be at home with my own family, then I am glad I had my Shanghai family to celebrate with! My girls really are amazing people and I don’t know what I would do without them! 

What Good Is A Life With No One To Share?

Today, you could say that I am having a Shang-Lo kind of day. I can’t really explain why, but something has made me take a step back to evaluate my life and the choices that I am making… and more importantly, how my choices are affecting my life (presently and for the future).  Before I left for China nearly a year ago, someone told me that I was about to embark on an adventure of a life time that was going to change every fiber of my being forever – mind, body and soul. They told me that I was being blessed with an opportunity that was going to set me apart 99% of the people that I knew and loved and that my relationships would never be the same. Of course, I knew that I was about to begin an incredible adventure and I hoped that it was going to change me, but I didn’t want it to draw me apart from the people that I care about most…I pushed the idea to the back burner and never gave it much thought. Now, nearly a year later, those words are burning in the front of my brain.


To think of myself as a world traveler just sounds insane to me. In all honesty, I have not traveled the world… I have barely even touched a sliver of it, but some would consider me a world traveler. For some people, traveling is just not in the hand they were dealt – no money, no time, a family to raise, a career or school – whatever the reason, they accept it. I don’t think anyone ever really plans to NOT travel, but it’s just more difficult for some and they accept it. Others are fortunate to spend their entire lives traveling the world; climbing to the heights of the most beautiful places on earth, discovering untouched islands and swimming through world landmarks. Me? Well I am somewhere in the middle…


Where I am most blessed is that I am not only vacationing abroad, but I have the opportunity to live abroad, learn a new language, and submerge myself in a culture that could not be more different than my own. I am living a life that will never be thoroughly expressed through any amount of pictures or the best written blog, and until you walk in my shoes, you may never understand. I state this not to be snooty, although I am sure that’s how it comes across, but to speak the truth. Suddenly, it is all starting to make sense to me…


The more time I spend in Shanghai, the greater the distance grows from Michigan. When I first arrived in Shanghai, my Skype was ringing off the hook constantly! I spent nearly every moment not at working chatting with friends and family – Skyping, emails, and facebook. Sure, it was difficult, but we made it work. Although I was 10,000 miles away, I still felt connected somehow to my former life in Michigan. I wanted to tell people my stories and people wanted to hear them. I wanted to know all the drama of Hartland and I wanted to be included at my family functions. I didn’t think it would change, but like everything else, it did.


Now, I could go an entire week without talking to a single person back home. I am lucky to catch my mom or my sister once a week for an hour or so. Aside from them, I am lucky to get a facebook message from even my best friends. I would be lying if I said that I don’t miss people, or miss my life. My heart breaks to think that people have forgotten about me, or that people just don’t care anymore, or at least don’t care enough to put forth any effort.  It breaks my heart even more to think that the choices I am making to better my life is what is pushing people farther and farther away from me, while I try to cling on to a life that I left behind, and savor the friendships with people whom I abandoned. I have come to realize that I can’t expect my former life to sit idle while I play around the world, but I hate the feeling that I have turned down a different road that will never meet up again… because I made the decision to turn.  


I can’t say that I don’t blame people for not wanting to talk to me – my life is pretty boring, just like everyone else. I wake up, walk to work, teach, walk home, make dinner, work out, go to bed, repeat…On the weekends, I hang out with friends, go to bars, just like everyone else. Aside from the occasional trips out of the city, my life is mind-numbingly routine. Sure, all of that is done while living in Asia… but to be honest, it’s not exciting, interesting or invigorating… it is just my life, yet still, this detail sets me apart from my family and friends and has created a gap that I fear is too vast for a bridge. I feel like an outsider, stranded on an island waving to the party on the mainland, screaming, “I am over here! Don’t forget about me! Skype me so I can pretend that I was there!”


Don’t get me wrong, I am still enjoying myself in Shanghai. I know how blessed I am and I am trying to soak up every opportunity before my time runs out, but you wouldn’t believe how lonely it is. I am thousands of miles away from everyone I care about (who care about me), and exploring the world by myself.  I have friends that I travel with and we have a blast, but we are friends of circumstance. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t care about the people that have become my family in Shanghai, but they are not my family and they are not my best friends. Even on the most amazing adventure with the best people I know in Shanghai, my heart always aches as I think, wow, my mom would love this! Or, I wish my best friend was here to do this with me! I envy the people that are traveling with their family, their friends, or their spouses because they have people to share this incredible experience with. Me? I soak it all up alone, and go home hoping to catch someone on Skype so that I can feel connected to my former life again, and still it makes me feel more isolated than ever. What good is a life, with no one to share?


My best friend just moved into a new apartment, my brother just built a brand new house for his family and my sister is pregnant and planning a wedding… I should be buying housewarming gifts, planning a baby shower, a wedding shower and a bachelorette party, but instead, I am on the other end of facebook typing, I can’t wait to see pictures. Let me know how it goes! I hate that the most common phrase in my vocabulary is I miss you and all because I wanted  to see the world!


Aside from all that, I need people in my life, not just any people, but my family and my friends. It is not easy living overseas alone. I am sure that you are probably think, my God, you have got to be kidding? Get a massage and suck it up! I am actually pretty certain that is what I would be thinking… but in all honestly, it is difficult. People always told me that I was brave for going and that it was something that most people would never be able to do. I believe that is true. I am alone, living in a country that I know little about, that speaks a language that I barely understand, while learning how to do a job that I am probably too inexperienced to do. Now, more than ever, I need support and encouragement to give me the courage and strength to finish what I came here to do, yet I couldn’t feel more alone in my feat.  


Again, I keep circling back to my choices. This was my choice. I chose to pick up and leave it all behind, knowing that I was facing the world alone, knowing that I was going to change because of it, knowing the risks involved with being so far away. No one told me that it was going to be easy, but I prayed for courage and I will continue to pray for strength and that God will continue to lead my path...


Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.


Proverb 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will direct your paths. 

Quarantined

So my school has granted me two weeks off from kids… well to be honest, the Chinese Government actually granted me this mini vacation. You would think I would be ecstatic, but honestly, it is only Tuesday of week one and I am already bored!
About a week ago, we had a kid or two diagnosed with Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease. Saying ‘diagnosed’ makes it sound so official and fatal, but it is the farthest thing from it. Sure it is kind of gross because it is a virus that is passed through sharing bodily fluids, but it is barely anything more than a rash and a sore throat. Millions of preschool age kids get it every year. Let’s be honest, the kiddies refuse to share anything but germs. It is highly contagious, but they get it, they stay home until the rash is gone, return to school and life goes on. I have actually never heard of a school closing because of HFMD, but as I have stated at least a thousand times, China is completely backwards from the rest of the world.
So anyway, a couple kids got it a week ago and they were sent home… no big deal. Well Chinese Government regulation states that if two or more children contract HFMD in a single class in less than a week, then the class must close for two weeks. Additionally, if a school has 10 or more reported cases in less than a week, the entire school has to close. It sounds a bit extreme right? I mean, Chinese schools didn’t even close when H1N1 was going around and that was much worse!  I guess there was a really bad strand of HFMD a couple years ago and it actually did end up fatal in a couple cases, so since then, they have very strict policies.
At RBIS, it pretty much started in a Preschool class, who then passed it to her little brother in the Toddler class, who passed it to the other Toddlers, then to Early Years and so on. On Friday alone, there were 12 reported confirmed cases and at least 30 other children sent home with rashes on their hands. Of my 16 children class, there were only 11 in class on Friday, and of the 11, 5 were sent home because of a rash just to be extra cautious, but most likely caused by the sudden increase in bleach and cleaner to their toys.
Thankfully within my class, only one child came back as having HFMD confirmed, but nonetheless, our school was maxed out and the government said that all classes had to be closed. Again, you would think I would be happy about this, but it has been a nightmare kind of. First of all, parents are outraged! They pay a lot of money in tuition to send their kids to international school so they expect a refund for the two weeks. However, refunds are against the school policy, so the parents are irate. Then, parents don’t know what to do with their children during the time off. They are blowing up our emails asking us for stuff they can do to occupy their children… really? As a team, the early years have compiled a list of activities that families can do at home to keep the learning going over the two weeks, but  parents don’t seem to appreciate it much and I doubt that any of them are doing any of the activities that we have suggested!
Then there is the boredom… I literally sit in my classroom alone all day long – from 8:00 to 4:00. Sure I have things that I can do, and I have been working hard on my portfolios, but I just cannot sit alone at my computer all day without going crazy, so then I find myself wondering around and bugging other teachers just to move. Only the Early Childhood portion of our school closed, of course, so all my elementary friends are still with students so I can’t go bug them.  Fortunately, I plenty of time to clean and rearrange my room, and put together some really BOMB portfolio for conferences in two weeks, but I could probably complete all of those things in just a couple days… not ten days!
Anyway… I shouldn’t bitch really. I am just glad that everyone is healthy (or getting healthy) and I am thankful for a little bit of relaxation and rest J