Well yet again I am frustrated. First and foremost, I am frustrated with a particular student named Eddison. He joined our class only about 2 months ago, he speaks only Chinese and I believe that he may have a developmental delay (maybe, or it could just be his behavior as a result of his parents enabling him to be helpless). Needless to say, he is a handful and I haven’t a clue what to do with him. To give you just a brief background, he is the only child in his family and he can do no wrong. I don’t really know much about the family, but based on Eddison’s behavior and what the Chinese teachers have told me, he is waited on hand and foot at home and is treated like the baby prince by his parents. He is 5 years old, but he is double the size of all the other children. He does not listen to any of the teachers, he does not play with any of the other children, nor will he sit at lessons, eat lunch or change his shoes by himself. When you try and make him do something that he must do, he will either run, fall limp to the ground, kick, hit or scratch.
At first, I was really patient with Eddison – he was young, new and he did not understand a word of anything that I said. I have had several discussions with his parents about his adjustment to the class, his resistance and his overall behavior, and they always have some kind of excuse… he is too young to brush his own teeth or put on his own coat (the 2 year olds in the nursery do these skills independently); he is just always hungry during English lessons so he can have a snack instead of the lesson; or he just doesn’t understand English. Unfortunately, the Chinese teachers only make it that much worse because they are feeding into his behavior because they do EVERYTHING for him – they have to hold his hand to walk down the hallway, they have to pull down his pants for him so he can use the bathroom, and they have to sit with him and hand feed him his lunch.
I am to a point where I am fighting with my assistant teachers telling them that they are not allowed to do anything for him and that they have to make him try to do things for himself. Don’t get me wrong, I am not some mean teacher who refuses to help children – I help children when they need help, but I do refuse to enable a child to become helpless. I have been extremely adamant about him gaining independence and I am finally at a point where he will change his own shoes with a teacher sitting next to him telling him to do it but not doing it for him (it is progress).
But the thing about the Chinese teachers is that I feel like I am fighting a losing battle by myself up against a wall because no matter how much effort I put into Eddison, he turns around and the Chinese teachers do the exact opposite. They let him do whatever he wants, and they do everything for him, and he cries and throws a tantrum and they give him anything. They would rather give in to him and baby him than put forth any effort to actually deal with his behavior. I consider myself a pretty decent teacher and pretty good at multitasking, but there is no way that I can manage a class of 17 four year olds and Eddison without the assistance of other teachers. That is why I have assistance teachers and that is why the teacher to child ratio is 1 to 5.
Like I said, at first I was patient and understanding, but now it is to a point where his behavior is unacceptable and it frustrates me to no end. Let me give you an example of an event that occurred yesterday. Every day following lunch, kids brush their teeth then get ready for nap. Ms. Qian stays in the class with the children to finish up lunch and clean up and Ms. Huang takes the children who finish lunch into the bathroom to brush their teeth. I float between the two and entertain the children who finish lunch and teeth with time to spare before nap time. Then when it is time for nap, I gather up all the children who nap and taken them into the nap room to get ready for bed. Same routine every day.
Yesterday, I called for all the nappers and they got into a line and walked into the nap room. Eddison, on the other hand, ran and hid behind a pillar in the classroom. I told him twice, “Eddison it is time for nap.” Then Ms. Qian told him in Chinese. When he wouldn’t come, I grabbed hold of his hand to walk him to the nap room and he proceeded to scratch and claw at my hand holding his. Then when we were in the hallway between the two rooms, he took off running into the bathroom where Ms. Huang was brushing teeth with other children. Again, in the bathroom I told Eddison twice, “It is time to get ready for nap.” When he said, “No” I grabbed his hand again and he fell limp to the ground. I tried to pick him up to stand up, but he is a large child and he was like dead weight and he would just fall to the ground again. Ms. Huang started laughing...
I WAS SOOOO MAD! Here I am struggling with a resistance and defiant child, and my assistant teacher, the one who is supposed to be my right hand man, who is supposed to help with children especially those who speak Chinese and she starts laughing as he is misbehaving. In return, Eddison starts laughing and it all becomes a game to him, reassured by his teacher giggling along with his behavior. I feel really bad about it now, but I was so mad that I yelled at Ms. Huang and told her to stop laughing because it was not a game. Then I picked Eddison up under the arms and carried him into the nap room. I could not even say anything to him after that. I sat him in front of his bed and walked away.
Later, Ms. Huang came storming into the room yelling to Ms. Qian in Chinese, and then yelling at me about how I made Eddison cry and that he is only just a baby and that he doesn’t have to go to nap right away because he will have enough time to get ready. To be honest, I didn’t exactly follow most of what she said because it didn’t make any sense to me, but she really had no idea why I was so upset and why I yelled at her. I apologized for yelling at her and tried to explain that it was the principle that he never listens and he never does what he is supposed to do. His parents say that he has to nap, so he has to at least rest in the nap room. There were no excuses for his behavior – he knows the routine by now, he understood both Ms. Qian and myself when he was told to do something, and he was deliberately disobeying, and this behavior occurs all day, every day!
By the end of our conversation, I still believe that she had no idea what I was talking about. She speaks very little English and I am not sure how much she actually understood even though she was responding with yes and no. Like I said though, I have no idea what to do with Eddison. I have tried so many different things, but I am fighting alone. I honestly believe that absolutely nothing will change until there is a change at home and I don’t foresee that happening anytime soon, but I am just so frustrated. I am not some mean teacher, and I hate being the bad guy, but I feel like I am constantly put into the role because I am the only one willing to put forth any effort to give him stable rules and routines and consistently follow through, but if I am the only one following through, there is still no consistency! When I was frustrated today with him, I told the Chinese teachers that if they are going to continue to let Eddison do whatever he wants, then they are the ones that are going to need to deal with the Repercussions and that I am not going to even try anymore. Even though I did not mean it, sometimes that is what I feel like and I absolutely HATE feeling that way about a child!
HEEEEELLPPP
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